How to Talk to Girls in Online Gaming

    You may have read my article about what it’s like to be a female gamer. Well, some guys still want to know how they are expected to approach a girl for optimum results. So, here’s a little bit of advice for those of you who want some tips on how to treat, approach, and win-over girls in-game.

    Treat Others Well Too

    She notices how you treat other players. I say this because when you treat other players, newbies, and friends poorly while you are nice to her, chances are she will not want to talk to you. Sure, a little friendly fire is acceptable, it’s all part of the game, but when you are purposely offensive or rude, the right type of girl will know something is up. She will know that the way you treat her is insincere.

    Don’t Be Afraid

    Like I always say, she’s just a gamer. The whole fear of rejection thing does not apply, for she does not and will not see you as a man, as a potential date. You are, and will forever remain a teammate, opponent, or even friend. You can have fun, it’s a game. But, it is important to realize that this is not eHarmony or high school. It’s…a…game. If you want to meet girls, go out into the world. Want to meet girls with the same interest as you? You can figure it out, they are out there and when you follow my next tip, they will like you.

    Be Yourself

    So, if you are absolutely determined that you want to talk to her and play with her because she is a girl, fine. But you need to do so as yourself. Or your character, that works too. As long as you are Alliance. See…funny. You’re funny too when you don’t try. Girls (or anyone for that matter) like to laugh. You both have knowledge of the game, and that is unlikely the extent of your gaming and nerd-like pop culture knowledge. Ask her if she knows that Metroid is a girl and watch her eyes roll. Keep it up with more inconsistencies and she might think you’re serious. When she starts to get angry, assure her you were just messing with her.

    Never Stalk  

    If you have to talk to a girl every time she is on, then she will eventually notice. Sure, with some of your guy friends you do the same, because you guys have a good time and are a great team. A girl will know the difference. If you just want to play with her as a gamer, ally, then go ahead. But stalking or not leaving everything inside the game is a surefire way to get blocked. Or perhaps a change of in-game gender, paired with a neutral username.

    Don’t Show Off

    No one likes arrogance. No need to continuously mention your rank or loot. Yeah, she probably cares, but not about you, more likely about the game at hand and how your skills can benefit her. Also, yeah, who wouldn’t enjoy a gift every once in a while? You may say that complaining about gifts is ridiculous, like “Hey, I’d take it!” But soon she will see that you reward her simply for being a girl and your need for female attention. This will make her feel worthless. She’s in the game for a reason, and when she feels patronized by your special treatment, she will feel a loss of true value. Both out of game (character and personality) and in-game (skill and dedication) which can make her give up or change accounts to appear a male (who will receive the admiration for the right reasons). If you still want to shower her with rewards, try something like this: Tell the girl that if she can complete a specified dungeon in ten minutes then you will give her this special set of armor. Win-win.

    She’s Just a Fellow Gamer

    Shocker, right? The girl you are wondering about talking to is just another human who enjoys gaming just like you. This makes it really easy to talk to them. You have the same interests, you are playing the same game, and you can most likely collaborate in a mission, match, or raid. You know what she’s thinking when you ask to group up? “Hey, sweet, I needed a healer!”

    Try not to look at someone name and go “Grill!” automatically. Higher your expectations! If you wouldn’t play with her if she were a twelve year old boy, believing he isn’t in your skill range, then you can kindly leave her to her own defenses.

    What You’ll Find Out

    Probably, that she’s pretty cool. You are glad that you decided to get over the whole and got to know the girl that sits on your friend list just like SpikeTheRaptorTodd does. She’s fun, skilled, you collaborate well, and is a nice addition to the party.

    Or you might find out she’s a total jerk and you’re glad you decided to take a look at her cold, black heart and insanely poor skills instead of either ogling over her possible feminine nature or completely alienating her from the gaming world.

    No matter what you think, girls are not that complicated. Be nice, treat everyone equally, and enjoy what you already love!


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