Every day of our lives we tell ourselves how amazing it would be to live in one of the worlds we play in. In some cases, we may be on to something. After all, who wouldn’t love to change their own look whenever they wanted or pick up money off the street without anyone saying anything? That would be amazing in theory. But in most cases, video game worlds are dangerous, toxic places that are reserved for main characters. And trust us, you’re not exactly main character material. It’s the game’s job to make you believe that you are worthy, but really, you’re just like everybody else.
While some worlds may be harmless, others would unexpectedly drive us crazy. Here are twelve worlds we only think we wish were real!
Pandora from Borderlands
Pandora is the planet where every Borderlands game takes place. As a fan of the game, it seems like a dream place to live at first. After all, its name is Pandora. But really? The place is desolate and dangerous. Your average human wouldn’t even be able to take on a Larva Crab Worm! It may not be as bas as Fallout or Silent Hill but come on!
But even when facing humans alone, you do realize how many mayors are murdered and how many bandits attack on a regular basis, don’t you? Might as well be Fable.
Nirn from Elder Scrolls
There isn’t a region in any Elder Scrolls game that would be a good place to live. If it’s not dragons, it’s the rats. And like we said, you probably aren’t the main character…the Dragonborn. That means that if you lived in this world, you’d end up being blademeat for some Dragonborn taken to the dark side.
Plus, what if you were like born a Khajiit or something? You think the real world is racist, just put yourself into this world. You imagine yourself as a Wood Elf or Nord, don’t you? What an elitist.
The Valve-verse in Half-Life
Valve once created a world where many of their games would take place. This universe is full of sci-fi wonder. The world might be okay before the dimensional tear at the beginning of Half-Life, but after that, you’ll want to run far away. You know there are actual zombies here? Only they are headcrabs that attach to your friend’s body.
San Andreas in Grand Theft Auto
Are you freakin’ kidding me? It’s hard to believe that so many people have admitted that they wish that San Andreas was real. The world is like 99% our world minus anything good we have to offer. If the reason for wanting it to be real is that you would be able to get away with whatever you want, think again.
In this world, you’d likely be prey to those who are running over anyone who gets in their way and assaulting every woman within thirty years of their age. This world is the worst parts of our world and you wish it were real?
The American Frontier in Red Dead Redemption
Hold up now. Let’s forget anything unreal in RDR and talk about how it’s pretty much the San Andreas of the Old West. Murders were left unsolved, women were treated like objects, and work was harder than we can imagine. Life in any profession was no easy service. Those of women were so limited that they referred to a brothel as a “poverty trap” and women married in order to prevent starving to death.
Also, did you know that feral camels roamed the state of Texas? That’s one reason to never want to go back. That and their inability to learn some personal hygiene.
The Sandbox in Minecraft
Have you even built a house before? It’s hard work in real life, so imagine what it would be like if it’s all you did 24/7? Two of the more difficult professions through time would be constriction work and mining. If it weren’t things like COPD or lung cancer that you had to fear, then it’s falling into that lava you hit.
This isn’t even counting the creepers or other Minecraft-exclusive dangers. Let me tell you, Steve does nothing but work and was purposely absent of personality. Now that’s no life to live.
Age of Rock in Brutal Legend
For metal fans, this might not be so bad. But just imagine taking your mom into the world of Brutal Legend? Do you think she’d last five minutes? The world is brutal indeed, and even for the “heaviest” of metal fans, you would soon tire of the entire world being nothing but metal. You may think that this couldn’t happen, but when it’s the only available music or theme, you won’t feel special anymore and that will…make you sad.
Overworld of Dragon Quest
“If only I could make a living fighting slimes,” so many players have said. Yeah, and then what? That’s not how it’s going to pan out for you at all. This is the same for Monster Hunter as well. For adventurers in these games, this is their life. It’s not some hobby that they enjoy doing. It’s literally how they put food on the table. Oh yes, and those battles…will not be turn-based. Just let that sink in for a moment.
Hyrule in Legend of Zelda Games
You do know that there’s forever some sort of threat over Hyrule? There may be pretty Hylian cities and forests you could spend your life in, but overall, there’s always a darkness that tends to take over. You’re not Link and you can’t save the world either. There’s a war during every game, the most recent being Calamity Ganon. When he becomes Dark Beast Ganon, ready to unleash the full force of his vengeful darkness upon the world, even the toughest warrior will wish to run and hide.
The Animus World in Assassin’s Creed
Yeah, so this isn’t going to be like some virtual reality or anything. It may be considered a VR, but it’s far more dangerous. For one, you’ll be overworked as scientists dig and dig in your genetic memory. But even worse, in the wrong hands, it could over heat and fry your brain. Ouch! However, if you’re thinking of the newer versions, things aren’t that much better as more injuries happen with this one than any other.
On the bright side, you’ll become so important that you’ll be irreplaceable and thus will have absolutely no time to do what you want with your life. Don’t worry though, the mental instability caused by the machine will take over and you won’t care about that anymore.
Anywhere in Halo
Now when thinking of the Flood or the fate of the Noble Six, this one is really a no-brainer. You can either be a helpless human or a spartan, and we all know the fatality rate of those superhumans. Anyone who has seen John’s childhood knows that is no one they want to be.
The thing no one thinks about as they read about these worlds is it’s not just the wars going on and monsters that you won’t like. You see, there are no video games, no anime, and no fun! The world is in a pre-apocalyptic state in nearly every video game in existence. The only reason the world needs a hero is because it’s about to end.
The Pokémon World
This is the number one world that most people wish were real. But if you really think about it, the world would be so dangerous! If not for legendary battles and evil organizations, it wouldn’t be that bad though, right? Wrong! How many times has Ash been electrocuted? Like, way more than I’d like to be.
But what’s even worse than Pokémon attacking you and not being able to leave your house without tripping over a Weedle, is something far worse. There will be an unexpected political battle on whether Pokémon should be kept in Pokeballs, as “pets.” We all hate political battles far more than getting attacked by zombies. So, let’s not even get started on what half the world would think about making them battle each other for money. Oh, the riots! It’s safe to say that we’re glad Pokémon aren’t real, but it’s also safe to say that if we could bring them to life…then we would in a heartbeat! Charmander, I choose you!